Conker
is a squirrel that looks just like any other character
from previous Nintendo games. But underneath his
cordial exterior lies a trash-mouthed rodent with
a penchant for booze, wild women, and lewd conduct.
Conker's twisted tale begins at his local bar, where
he tosses back a few too many drinks with his war-bound
friends before stumbling out into the rainy night.
Drunken, confused, and vomiting profusely, Conker
becomes lost and eventually blacks out. When he
comes to his senses, he finds himself in a world
unlike he, or anyone else for that matter, has ever
seen before--a world full of gutter-mouthed cogs,
LSD-dropping demons, bosses with giant testicles,
and a panther king that rules minions of seemingly
inept weasels. It's a demented world, and Conker's
only desire is to somehow escape and catch up with
his girlfriend, Berri. While little more than just
a setup for the game's content, the story makes
no sense until the end of the game, when several
plot twists help to explain things a bit.
In
the early going, Conker's BFD indulges heavily in
lurid situations that provide some genuine belly
laughs. Throughout the course of the game, you'll
see an opera-singing boss made entirely out of crap,
graphic depictions of morose scenarios (like a firing
squad), and furry creatures being ripped in half
or blown to bits. At first, it all seems surreal.
After the initial shock wears off, the humor becomes
contrived at times. Nonetheless, Conker's BFD is
like a good book. You can't wait to turn the page
and find out what happens next. Blood, guts, feces,
and swearing dominate the subject matter, and the
game's design is targeted squarely at adults as
well as children. Instead of having to collect exorbitant
amounts of items and figure out where to use them,
context-sensitive pads give them to you when you
need them. Standing on the pads and pressing the
B-button awards Conker with one-use items, special
costumes, and extra abilities. Although you may
meander virtually anywhere you choose, the game
progresses in a linear fashion.
Another
one of the game's aspects, which will appeal to
the older crowd, is the dead-on movie spoofs that
pop up with alarming regularity. One portion mimics
the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan right down
to the soldier-looking-for-his-arm bit. Scenes from
The Terminator, The Godfather, The Matrix, and many
more also get the Conker treatment. While it's really
nothing new for the genre, the gameplay variety
in Conker's BFD is excellent. In addition to the
traditional jump, climb, swim, fly, and attack staples
of 3D platformers, there are first-person shooting
levels, racing levels, some simple puzzle elements,
and plenty of minigames. The game reveals its heritage
through some of the objectives, like carrying objects
through gauntlets, which would be right at home
in Banjo-Tooie. The platforming elements can be
difficult at times thanks to a stubborn camera,
but the majority of problems come from figuring
out what to do instead of actually doing it. When
compared with games like Banjo-Tooie, the linearity
of Conker's BFD cuts its length considerably.
After
the one-player mode is completed, there are seven
multiplayer modes to explore for up to four players.
Along with several forms of third-person deathmatch
with a healthy arsenal, the tanks mode lets players
blow each other to bits while they attempt to capture
and detonate a bomb. The stereotypical race mode
provides two variations of the same course for kart
racing mayhem while the cool but dull raptor mode
splits players into two teams. One team must try
to steal dinosaur eggs from the raptors while the
raptors attempt to stop them. In the frenetic heist
mode, all four players play as armed weasels attempting
to obtain a lone sack of money. The beach mode is
the most fun of all the multiplayer modes. One team
must storm the beach while the other team defends
the beach with gun towers. While the extra modes
do add some longevity to Conker's BFD, the majority
of them fail to stand the test of time.
Rare pulls every graphical trick out of its book
for Conker's BFD. It makes other Nintendo 64 games
look like 16-bit software. From the incredible multicolored
real-time lighting that illuminates each area to
the real-time shadow that mocks Conker's every step,
Rare's final Nintendo 64 game is the console's most
visually impressive. The game contains almost two
hours of real-time cinemas, with fully animated
character faces that mimic streaming dialogue with
precise detail. Conker's limitless facial expressions
accurately convey the rodent's feelings on the fly
whether he's determined, sad, or angry. The levels
are enormous and never suffe
r
from draw-in--no matter how far away the horizon
may be. While the texture work is mediocre in the
early areas, it gradually improves as you keep playing.
Conker's BFD pushes the N64 to its graphical limit.
This becomes painfully obvious when the frame rates
bog down while you enter outdoor areas. If you were
able to tolerate it in Perfect Dark and Banjo-Tooie,
Conker's BFD's dodgy frame rates won't be a problem.
Another issue is a stubborn camera, which sometimes
gets caught on objects or refuses to obey commands.
The audio in Conker's BFD matches the high standards
set by its graphics. The Dolby Surround Sound provides
rumbling bass and ear-piercing highs. There are
literally dozens of sounds just for Conker's footsteps.
Whether he's running on carpet, wood, concrete,
metal grating, or dung, the sounds emitted make
the surface immediately recognizable without the
need for visual clues. The profanity-riddled voice
acting brings the entire game together. Some of
the more ambitious phrases are bleeped out, but
it's never too difficult to decipher what's really
being said. The writing can be extremely clever
at times, but the voice acting develops the characters
more than anything else. As with all its previous
Nintendo 64 games, Rare has included an interactive
soundtrack that gradually mutates as you move from
one area to the next. The songs are catchy, and
some feature farting noises played at different
octaves for that BFD touch. In all, the sound doesn't
get any better than this on the Nintendo 64.
While it's far too late in the game to revitalize
interest in the Nintendo 64 among adults, Conker's
Bad Fur Day gives third-party publishers the green
light to do whatever they like on the GameCube.
The premise of the game is gimmicky, but after its
sordid skin is peeled away, a true gem of a 3D platformer
is revealed. The pacing is perfect, the gameplay
is varied and predominantly tight, and technically,
it has no match on the Nintendo 64. The main drawback
is the game's relatively short length. It comes
to an end rather quickly, and most will be able
to finish it during a solid weekend of playing.
While it lasts, Conker's Bad Fur Day is a wild ride
well worth taking. - Review by Shane Satterfield